Saturday, May 16, 2009

Online Dating

I'll admit some hesitancy in posting this. Not because anyone reads this blog, but because of the specific people who may encounter it (I am googled quite easily).

Online dating is great. Especially for people (like myself) who can't really get into the bar scene. I enjoy going to bars, but meeting someone there just doesn't seem fit my personality much. (It works great for some.) Online, however, is an excellent environment to encounter a large number and variety of people. As an added benefit, it is easy to fit into even very busy or chaotic lives.

Of course it is also troublesome: it makes people feel compelled to rush and so tends to favor those who can manage to be aggressive without seeming too intense/creepy/forward--a tricky balancing act I will never figure out--it encourages us to disregard people for often superficial reasons or to make snap judgments based on too little info, and the timing and nature of whether and when people respond mean that good opportunities could easily be missed and worse ones pursued. In the grand scheme it should most often work out in the end: missing out one or even several very good potential matches doesn't mean that another will not show.

Beyond the early rush intro, is the pressure to find meaning in with someone as quickly as possible. But everyone is different, and while those differences can make for good relationships, they may also make for one that would not be able to get off the ground in this environment.

In the end, I suppose that I (and others) can only be ourselves and hope that the other person knows what she/he wants and asks. Of course if the need is for another to meet expectations without having to make those known...

P.S. I am not referring to any one person in this, but everyone, myself included.

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