Monday, December 07, 2009

Disconnected Synchronization

I was at a loss for a title after reading this and wanting to say something about it. Then I read this and it became a happy day for title writing (for me and my weirdness).

The pervasiveness of making things girly or manly does seem to have extended quite a way and I'm not a very big fan. The shampoo aisle is loaded down with lots of FOR MEN items and lots of things that are not labeled but that smell like various flowers and fruits--because we all know that women like to buy shampoos, so we have to special label the ones for men, and also because women want to smell like flowers and fruit and men want to smell like...well, I don't know, because descriptions for man scented things are never descriptive of actual smells. I mean, what the hell does "sport" smell like? Because I think of sweat and gym bag funk, and those are not really appealing to me.

I'm pretty sure the marketing department consults frat boys to decide what they want to call something: "Essence of pumpkin pie and sandalwood shall henceforth be 'balls' scent."

I just want to smell clean. I used to think "Thank God for Suave" but now they have jumped into this crap, and they seem to be phasing out their neutral(ish) items (which still have bizarre names like "waterfall" and "ocean breeze"). I would be in a euphoric state (not to mention geek heaven) if some shampoo company would release a product named "Surfactant and EDTA for Hair." I'd pay $10 a bottle for that!

Are there really men out there who are so insecure that they need to have it reinforced that all their products are not for women? And who are these women who buy pink...everything?!? Neverminding that pink used to be a masculine color, who wants everything to be the same color (unless it's black, which is always cool, or, you know, whatever, just like an expression of my individuality)? I don't go out of my way to get blue versions of everything because I'm a boy. I just don't get it I guess.

I don't see a gender identity in my shampoo or toothbrush or tissues or... The way I see it any male who does need that identification must have a pretty damned hard time figuring out on his own if his gonads are external.*

*Of course this makes is frustrating as hell when I feel shoehorned into buying something with the big MAN stamp on it...kind of makes me want to get a pink flowery thing to assert that I am truly aware of and comfortable with my external genetalia :)

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